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Moberly Area Chamber of Commerce
Sycamore QueenThe Sycamore Queen Contest raised more than $4,000 this year.
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By Greg Wood
When Debbie Miller, executive director of the Moberly Area Chamber of Commerce, asked me to be a judge at their annual Sycamore Queen Contest, I have to admit I was honored, and to be honest a little bit excited about judging a bunch of young Missouri ladies in their prime.
I was already imagining the swimsuit portion of the contest when Debbie dropped the "DQ" bomb -- and no it has nothing to do with Dairy Queen. No, it turns out the famous or infamous Sycamore Queen Contest is not the culmination of the county's cute curvacious creatures' careers, but instead the knobby-kneed, big-boned, bearded behemoths far beyond their beautiful years of yesterday -- in a word "lugs."
These were five swarthy drag queens. And, they had no real training, well except for Sassparilla Jones, she -- I mean he -- displayed a much higher level of talent, if you know what I mean, than all the others combined. But as it turns out all the "young" ladies who applied their talents in the contest had good reason to give all the appearances of purveyors of the world's oldest profession.
The contest, , is named after what is considered Moberly's oldest business, The Sycamore, which was a house of ill-repute. The newly arriving ladies of the evening would disembark from the train station and hoof it to the nearby Sycamore, located precisely because of its proximity to the station. This year, the contest helped to raise more than $4,000 for the contestant's charity or organization of choice.
Just as the contest was coming to a close, appropriately enough a train came rolling by on the tracks about 30 feet from the stage. At that moment I believe I heard Sassparilla, bless her heart, yell out in her Brooklyn lisp, "Hey fellas! Over here, I got what ya's lookin for!"